Hogwarts Fun?
by Smerby
Summary: This site makes their rules, and I break them in the name of ART.


_You have just entered room "Hogwarts."_

**Boywholived:** Hey, everyone. Who's all in here?

**Blondsrpnt:** Just me. No one else seems to be in here. A/S/L?

**Boywholived:** About 16/m/Little Whinging. You?

**Blondsrpnt:** About 16/m/London. What's your name?

**Boywholived:** Um..Neville.

**Blondsrpnt:** Neville Longbottom? Interesting screen name you've got there...

**Boywholived:** Who are you?

**Blondsrpnt:** I'm not about to say that online.

**Boywholived:** Fair enough. I won't say who I am, then.

**Blondsrpnt:** Fine, fine. So, boywholived, what's up?

**Boywholived:** Well... I'm going to say nothing to save you the trouble of listening to my problems. What's up with you?

**Blondsrpnt:** Good boy, I have no interest in your girl troubles. Nothing is up with me.

**Boywholived:** What makes you think it's girl troubles!?

**Blondsrpnt:** Boy troubles, then?

**Boywholived:** Well... you could technically say that...

**Blondsrpnt:** I see. ;) So you're a bit of an arse bandit, then?

**Boywholived:** What?! No! I didn't mean like that...!

**Blondsrpnt:** What else could you mean?

**Boywholived:** I lost someone very close to me this past spring, alright? Drop it.

**Blondsrpnt:** Don't worry, we all get dumped. Except me.

**Boywholived:** Ugh... that's not what I mean. I'm not gay. Forget it.

**Blondsrpnt:** Who said you were gay?

**Boywholived:** You've been implying that for the last 5 minutes!

**Blondsrpnt:** So you're gay?

**Boywholived:** NO.

**Blondsrpnt:** Famous Harry Potter not wanting to come out of the closet?

**Boywholived:** Who is this? What makes you think I'm Harry Potter?

**Blondsrpnt:** Come off it. I'm not a bloody Hufflepuff.

**Boywholived:** ... Malfoy?

**Blondsrpnt:** Good job, Potter. Now, what's two plus two?

**Boywholived:** You have to be a manky git at all times then, do you?

**Blondsrpnt:** No idea what you're talking about, Potty. Now, it's just the two of us. Who's the boy that dumped you?

**Boywholived:** Why do you care/why are you talking about this? I wouldn't tell you anything, even if I was put under the Cruciatus. I'm also not gay.

**Blondsrpnt:** I'm completely bored and have nothing better to do then to grace my presence on you. I noticed you didn't mention the gay bit till the end of your statement.

**Boywholived:** How do you use the block thing on this...

**Blondsrpnt:** Wittle Potty can't face me? Aww!

**Boywholived:** Why do you use the same insults you used from our first year?

**Blondsrpnt:** Why should I waste my time coming up with new ones just for you?

**Boywholived:** You're wasting your time talking to me now, aren't you?

**Blondsrpnt:** Hm. Touché.

**Boywholived:** Why the hell are you talking to me, Malfoy?

**Blondsrpnt:** I already said. I'm bored. Besides, this is a chat room. Someone is bound to come in sooner or later.

**Boywholived:** I guess so...

**Blondsrpnt:** Ever cybered?

**Boywholived:** WHAT? NO WAY, MALFOY.

**Blondsrpnt:** Don't wet your pants, Potty. I was asking if you had, certainly not asking if you would with me.

**Boywholived:** Oh. Well, no.

**Blondsrpnt:** Don't know how, eh? Not surprising. You can barely play Quidditch...

**Boywholived:** Shut up, Malfoy.

**Blondsrpnt:** My insults are so un-insulting, and yet you and the Weasel are always set off by them. Pity you're so brainless.

**Boywholived:** Why is it a pity?

**Blondsrpnt:** A Death Eater's Imperius curse would never work on you, you not having a brain and all.

**Boywholived:** ...Those are dangerous words you're speaking.

**Blondsrpnt:** Mm. I know, aren't they?

**Boywholived:** Draco, I'd watch what you say. These chats can be logged.

**Blondsrpnt:** I have no fears. And we're on a first name basis now, I see?

**Boywholived:** Didn't notice.. Malfoy, excuse me.

**Blondsrpnt:** Trust me, I don't mind. ;)

**Boywholived:** What in the bloody hell...?

**Blondsrpnt:** Come off it, Potter. Haven't you ever thought of cybering?

**Boywholived:** Nope.

**Blondsrpnt:** Think about it. No repercussions.

**Boywholived:** What are you implying?

**Blondsrpnt:** Come on. Let's cyber.

**Boywholived:** BLOODY HELL. NO WAY!

**Blondsrpnt:** Come off it, Potter! Who's ever going to know?

**Boywholived:** Like I'd trust you.

**Blondsrpnt:** Ah! But you didn't say no that time. Could Potter swing a bit?

**Boywholived:** Shut up, Malfoy.

**Blondsrpnt:** Come on. Aren't Gryffindor's brave? Doesn't seem to me like you're living up to your House's name... maybe you're just a good liar. Should have been in Slytherin, eh?

**Boywholived:** Don't EVER say that again.

**Blondsrpnt:** Let's cyber, then.

**Boywholived:** Bloody hell, fine.

**Blondsrpnt:** Excellent. You start.

**Boywholived:** Start what?

**Blondsrpnt:** THE CYBERING. Merlin's beard... you're an idiot.

**Boywholived:** Fine. If only to show you up.

**Blondsrpnt:** I wouldn't expect anything less. Now type a bit, make it... good.

**Boywholived:** Fine, stop interrupting me then...

_Blondsrpnt has invited "PParkinson4", "Goylelackey", "Crabbelackey", "Chudleycanons", "Hogwrtsahstry", "Weasleygrl", "4getfulboi", "Loonyluna", and "Dobbyssn" into room "Hogwarts."_

**Chudleycanons:** ... Hello?

**Hogwrtsahstry:** Ron... What's going on?

**PParkinson4:** Draco, why'd you invite a bunch of Gryffindors...?

**Loonyluna:** Hello everyone...

**PParkinson4:** ... And Loony…

**Dobbyssn:** Old Master invites Dobby! Dobby very nervous. Dumbledore lets Dobby use computer!

**Boywholived:** I slowly walk over, unbuttoning your shirt, and cooing into your ear. "Mm, Draco..."

**Weasleygrl:** WHAT

**Hogwrtsahstry:** THE

**Chudleycanons:** HELL

**4getfulboi:** HARRY!

**PParkinson4:** POTTER?

**Dobbyssn:** Goodness! Dobby is ashamed of the Great Harry Potter! Dobby did not expect such things from the great Harry Potter! Dobby must drown himself in the lake!

_Dobbyssn has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Boywholived:** DRACO!

**Weasleygrl:** Disgusting.

_Weasleygrl has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Chudleycanons:** YOU'RE USING HIS FIRST NAME? I'm telling Dean and Seamus... I can't believe you Harry. I want out of our dormitory NOW.

_Chudleycanons has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Boywholived:** LET ME EXPLAIN. MALFOY, TELL THEM.

**Hogwrtsahstry:** Harry... How could you..?

_Hogwrtsahstry has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**4getfulboi:** I can't believe it... but I guess you and Malfoy always did have a... thing... I hope I forget this really soon...

_4getfulboi has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**PParkinson4:** WAIT TILL I TELL THE SCHOOL.

_PParkinson4 has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Boywholived:** MALFOY. Why haven't you said anything?

**Blondsrpnt:** Oh, sorry. Crabbe and Goyle were just recording and saving the entire conversation.

_Crabbelackey has left the room "Hogwarts."_

_Goylelackey has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Blondsrpnt:** I knew you were enough of an idiot to fall for that.

**Boywholived:** Why the hell did I trust you…? Why the HELL did I do that...?

**Blondsrpnt:** Despite what everyone thinks, the only boy I could ever possibly love is Draco Malfoy.

**Boywholived:** I'm going to hex you into next week. And then some.

**Blondsrpnt:** Go ahead, and have a nice wank while you're at it. Idiot. You made my day!

_Blondsrpnt has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Boywholived:** BLOODY HELL.

**Loonyluna:** Don't worry Harry.

**Boywholived:** Ugh. YOU'RE still here?

**Loonyluna:** I always knew you were gay.

**Boywholived:** ... Don't talk to me.

_Boywholived has left the room "Hogwarts."_

**Loonyluna:** Well... I guess it's just us then.

**Loonyluna:** Yes, I suppose it is.

**Loonyluna:** So... how are you?

**Loonyluna:** Good, you?

**Loonyluna:** Same. Harry Potter just came out of the closet.

**Loonyluna:** That's interesting. I always thought so.

**Loonyluna:** So did I…

**Loonyluna:** So...

**Loonyluna:** So...

**Loonyluna:** Want to cyber?

**Loonyluna:** Sure.

**THE END.**

* * *

**Note:** Ugh. This was horrible. Reviews welcome none-the-less. 

**(Revised 11/21/07)**


End file.
